I Should Be In Vegas
I like to say that if it weren’t for bad luck, I wouldn’t have any. Most nights at work I get the worst tables, I ALWAYS manage to drive behind the dumbest, slowest fucking people on EARTH, and if you’ve read my blog before- you know my luck with guys has been less than stellar, to say the least. Well not today, my friends. Not only was luck on my side, it was buying me drinks and trying to take me home.
So I’m on my way to work and I’m driving about 50 mph in a 35 mph zone. (I don’t usually do that, but today I was running a wee bit late.) As I’m jamming along, I notice that- about 3 feet ahead of me- is a motorcycle cop semi-hidden on a little side street. After I peed myself, I started to panic. There was nothing I could do but let off the gas and hope that my car would jerk down to the speed limit, instantly. It did not.
As I’m passing the cop, I’m looking right at him. And he was looking right at ME. He watched me pass him. After I’ve passed, I decide to hit my breaks, which I know is pointless, but what the hell? Then I looked into my rear-view, fully expecting to see him with lights flashing, right behind me. But what did I see? Him pulling over the guy who was driving right BEHIND me! I am crappin’ you negative!
I don’t know how, and I don’t know why… But somehow my horrible luck attacked the poor bastard behind me and I was able to continue on my way… shaking like a naked chicken.
From now on I will be driving 35 down that street.
Peace and lessons learned.
