Two posts in one day! I figured I should stock up before I get drunk again.
Anyway, Suki settled into her bed for a nap and got into a position I thought looked pretty odd. I snapped a shitty photo, with the shitty camera attached to my BlackBerry Pearl, and thought I’d share.
Peace and shitty, shitty, shitty.
I was just going through the spam in my Akismet filter, or as I like to call it: Porn Central, and ran across a couple of links that took me a little by surprise.
Now I’m no stranger to porn. I’m old enough to have seen my share of sex that real people don’t have, as well as some of what celebrities have put out there. (Pam & Tommy Lee… 2 thumbs up. Paris & Rick Solomon… Don’t ever do that again.) So when I’m scanning Porn Central, I’m rarely ever shocked, let alone confused. Today, however, two items got my attention. And since it is not an option for me to click their links to see what the hell, I will just keep wondering- but not before I share it with you:
One… What the hell is a “Foot Job”?? And two… Who’s out there with a hankering for a “Bitch Slap Video”??
I don’t think I really wanna know, but those were things that definitely had to come back out.
Peace and just the sex please.
I totally caved into “blog pressure” and signed up with EntreCard. I’m still trying to figure out what the hell it even is, or how exactly it works. However, until I know what I’m doing, I’m just whoring myself out on every blog with an EC widget. I’m a blog slut… but it’s ok because I’m letting other people be sluts on my blog too. Drop your card and, if you want to advertise on my blog, I’ll absolutely approve that shit.
I smoke too much. I have this love/hate relationship with smoking and I am seriously considering undergoing hypnosis to quit. I’m still in the “considering” stage, however, because what if he makes me bark like a dog every time the phone rings?
I am so excited about getting my new phone on Monday that I get little butterflies every time I think about it. This tells me that I need to find someone cute, STAT, and make out with him. Cell phones should never be the source of butterflies. Cute men, on the other hand, should.
I am curious about the other blogs that people who read MY blog read. If you’re reading this, won’t you be a peach and leave me a comment telling me what blogs you love to read? I’m feeling adventurous. If you leave a link, be prepared to be caught in my spam filter. But no worries… I’ll fish you out asap.
This chick cracks me up.
Peace and random thoughts.
Well, well, well. It seems that Ernie over at Redneck Bar & Grill has tagged me for a meme. Yee Haw! What is this meme I speak of, you ask? I gotta cough up 8 random things about me. Since there are a million random things about me- this will be tricky. I’ll try to pick just 8. I hope you enjoy the space between my ears.
And now… The Rules! Oooo!
1. Each player starts with 8 random facts/habits about themselves.
2. People who are tagged, write a blog post about their own 8 random things, and post these rules.
3. At the end of your post you need to tag 8 people and include their names.
4. Don’t forget to leave them a comment and tell them they’ve been tagged, and to read your blog.
Ok kids… On with my issues…
1.) When I’ve had a “certain” amount of alcohol (it could be 2 drinks, it could be 5) I will sneeze 6 times. Exactly 6. I don’t know why that is, but it amuses the hell out of my friends. Last night, just the smell of Tuaca set me off.
2.) When a customer at work is being horribly rude, and I put lemon in their water or tea, I will push it all the way to the bottom of their glass with my finger.
3.) I absolutely refuse to touch a pregnant woman’s belly. It’s like I think it’s contagious or something. I think the closest I’ve come is poking with one finger.
4.) I can watch the movie Rat Race over and over and over again and I will still laugh like it’s the first time I’ve ever seen it.
5.) I have a serious cell phone addiction. I have never owned a phone longer than a year, I’ve owned pretty much every make and model & I am almost constantly on the hunt for my next one. I’ve only had my iPhone (which I thought would cure me of this) for 4 months and I’ve already picked out my next cell phone. FYI: Nokia’s are consistently the best phones and Motorola’s suck.
6.) I currently have a pimple on the side of my face that’s threatening to take over my head.
7.) I will blow the fuck up before I pass gas in front of my significant other. In 5+ years with D, the only time he witnessed such an atrocity was when I was asleep. You’re welcome for that.
8.) Back when I was bartending, I’d take whatever was left in the bar mat, at the end of the night, (usually quite a nasty combination of various liquors) and put it in a shot glass. I would then sell the shot for $2. There was ALWAYS someone who would be drunk enough to buy- and drink- it.
And there ya have it, folks. Now I’m gonna tag other bloggers to share their randomness with the world too… As always, this is optional. So play along, or don’t and either is ok. 
And the poor bastards lucky ones are (by blog):
Peace and nasty bar shots.
I just saw Bear Grylls pick up a handful of elephant crap, squeeze, and drink the water that came from it. How can someone so delicious looking do such nasty, nasty things? I understand the premise of Man vs. Wild… But really? What are the odds that I am going to find myself stranded, alone, in Africa? Um, yeah… Never. Wtf would I go to Africa for anyway? Dirt? Flies? The chance to have wildlife injure me? No thanks.
American’s will watch anything that’s gross. To prove this theory, I give you: I Love New York and Flavor of Love. I rest my case.
Peace and I’d rather watch Bear eat shit than anything on VH-1.
An Open Letter to Loreal,
Stop putting celebrities in your hair color ads. I refuse to believe, for even one-tenth of a second, that Heather Locklear and Eva Longoria sit at home and dye their own hair, and from a box no less. They do not use your hair color, so stop trying to convince me that they do. Do you really think that your target audience is that stupid?
If you want women to consider using your product, then use it on NON-celebrity women who DID dye their hair, at home, using your product. Then put THOSE women in your commercials.
Until then, kiss my ass.
Peace and truth in advertising.
I was doing some catching up on the blogs I love to read and while over at Lady Banana’s blog, I found something silly, yet interesting to do. Turns out you can take a short little quiz and it’ll tell you what gender you are- on the inside.
Now, I know that I am not a “girly” girl. I never have been and I never will be. I like to dress nice (no dresses), carry a nice purse and wear make-up. However, I don’t spend much time on my hair (wash, blow dry, done), I swear a lot, drink beer a lot, I’m not a very touchy-feely person, nor do I like talking about “feelings” or having endless gab sessions with my girlfriends. That’s why they have other girlfriends. I love sports, video games and all things electronic. I hate shopping, shoes don’t make me swoon nor do I have an overstuffed closet full of things I don’t wear.
Knowing myself like I do, I was prepared for my inner gender to be predominately male; that’s who I am. My mom even refers to me as “the son she never had”- but only when she needs furniture/home gym equipment put together, which I’m good at doing. And, sure enough, my results were just what I thought they’d be: My inner gender is male. I thought it would be interesting to dissect the description of my maleness.
“You are rational, matter of fact, and quite dominant.” - This is true.
“You like to get things done, without any emotional messiness.” - Very, very true.
“You truly don’t understand most women. And you definitely feel more comfortable around men.” - Not exactly true. Although I don’t think that even God, Himself, understands most women, I understand the ones I surround myself with. Very well. I might not be all about my feelings, but I do have them, after all. As for being more comfortable around men- I’m equally comfortable with both sexes. I think it has to do with the whole “dominance” thing.
My results end with, “No doubt about it. You’re a guy - at least on the inside.” - Emotionally and mentally, to a certain extent, that makes sense. Physically- my uterus begs to differ.
If you’d like to check out YOUR inner gender, visit the Blogthings Inner Gender Quiz. You’re welcome, in advance, for the time that I helped you waste.
Peace and power tools.
