My Random Blog

What have I done today? Not much. My head is still feeling the effects of last night’s fun, so today I haven’t been able to do anything but drink fluids and fart around on the computer. I did, however, manage to get an About Me page done. I never know what to write about myself, but hopefully that will suffice.

Last night was a lot of fun… Like Sundays usually are for me. I had to get work out of the way first, which wasn’t fun, but I had the rest of my night to look forward to, so I was in a stellar mood. So much so that my co-workers were wondering what drugs I was on.

We did the usual- hung out at our fave little watering hole (where ex-crush works) and consumed our body weight in beer and shooter goodness, laughed hysterically and listened to karaoke. I got hit on by an icky man with bad tattoos and I found myself flirting shamelessly with my ex-crush again. I couldn’t help it! I was feelin’ flirty and there he was, with all his stupid cuteness. It didn’t help that he was flirting back. Prolonged eye contact is a powerful thing. I should really be more careful with it. Unfortunately, Tuaca and Widmer were controlling the situation a little more than my brain was. I ended up staying after the place closed and then ended up driving stupid cuteness home. And, in the immortal words of Forrest Gump,  that’s all I have to say about that.

I am tired, I am thirsty and I have a load of towels that need to be washed. Oh the glamorous life I lead.

Peace and Tylenol.   

Holy shit. Since that was my immediate response to what follows, there it is.

There is this Web site in the world titled: Ask And Ye Shall Receive. The purpose of this brutally honest, no-holds-barred site is to review blogs that have been submitted by their owners. While the title of the site may not seem very scary- the URL of it gets more to the point: iwillfuckingtearyouapart.blogspot.com.

Back in January, Trouble suggested that I submit my blog to Ask And Ye Shall Receive. I’d never heard of it, so I went over and checked it out. I was immediately terrified and decided that I would NOT, in fact, submit my little blog to being torn apart. However, I loved the reviews, as painful as they were to read. I can’t help but be attracted to people who are honest, smart, and write with a dagger. While I felt bad for the blogs that were “fucking torn apart”, it was hard to not like the manner in which it was done. However, I still wasn’t about to send my blog into that shredder.

Fast forward a couple of months. After a night out with the girls, and many beers, I came home and hopped online. Feeling no pain, and no fear, I submitted my blog to the shredder. Waking up sober the next day, I realized what I had done and have been waiting in anxious trepidation (is that redundant?) ever since.

Today I woke to an email from my reviewer. “You’re so brave,” it read, “I hope you enjoy it!” Deeeeeeeep breath. I, honestly, was dreading reading it. I closed the email. I opened it again. I did that several times before I realized that I was gonna HAVE to read it eventually. So I put my Big Girl panties on and went to my review.

The title of my blog sucks (I already knew that, though), I have too much shit in my side bar (I knew that too) and I could use an About Me page so people who wander in here know who they’re dealing with (I intend to create one). I’m just glad I took my Twitter box out before she got here, or I’m sure she would have tried to stab me in the face. It wasn’t all bad, though. In fact, I was beyond happy with what followed. So happy, in fact, that I didn’t even care that my name was spelled wrong.

You can read my review here: You Can’t See Everyone Naked. And yes, I left a comment.

Peace and fierce women who kick ass.

It’s official: Three strikes and I’m out.

My third crush has already dissolved. *sigh* Isn’t that just my luck?

Turns out The Latest used to date (and screwed over) a friend of mine. I didn’t know about them until the day before yesterday, when her and I had a lengthy conversation. Immediately afterwards, I let him know that it wasn’t gonna happen. He understood. Most likely because he knows what an asshole he was to her, and that I now know it too. There are just too many guys in the world for me to need to recycle. Fortunately, I don’t mind… There are lots of other crushes to be had… And I intend to have them. Although my list of criteria is getting more and more interesting.

Today is my Friday and I plan to do what I usually do with my “Fridays”: Hang out with the people that make my world a better place, have a few beers, and laugh my ass off. I am very much looking forward to a night of mindless fun with the girls.

If your weekend has come to an end, I hope it was a good one.

Peace and guys who don’t suck.

Good God I’ve been active lately. Too active, almost. It’s a miracle I have clean clothes left and functioning kidneys. I am happy to report that I do. To both. But barely.

Being in a relationship with D. the last 5 1/2 years had made me kind of a homebody. We stayed in a lot more than we went out. Which was fine… all was comfy and routine. Then we broke up. And for some reason, that signaled to me the intense need to go out into the world as often as humanly possible. It helps that my bff is also single, and hates her roommates, so is therefore down to be out there with me every second we’re not at work.

What have I been doing? Having 5 1/2 years of single fun, in a much shorter time span: Cocktails, spending time with people who make me laugh, meeting new people and developing, and then retracting, various crushes.

The first crush, as you may remember, didn’t go well. He was absolutely fabulous when we weren’t dressed, but completely insane when we were. I have since changed my phone number and deleted my “social networking site” profile. Since doing those things, I have not heard from him- nor has my car suffered any more damage. My fingers remain crossed, and the police department on my speed dial.

The second crush I developed was, evidently, wrong from day one. He was a bartender (well, he still is) at one of my fave little watering holes. Having been a bartender for years, a lifetime ago, I should have known better. His cuteness got the better of me, however, and I didn’t listen to my better judgment. Alas, he turned out to be a total flake, and after a few weeks of being disappointed and frustrated, I grabbed my parachute and bailed. It all ended before it really even started, and now I’m both happy and sad that I didn’t get to see him naked. Oh well… You can’t see everyone naked, right?

So now there is a new person flying on my radar. At the risk of jinxing it by blogging about it, I’ll say that he’s very cute, and very nice and the crush is mutual. It’s all very high school right now. And I’m digging it for the time being. So far he doesn’t seem crazy or flaky- but they don’t wear signs now do they? At this point I’ll just be happy if he doesn’t break anything I paid thousands of dollars for.

Today I am off work and plan to do absolutely nothing. No restaurants, no bars, no beer or Dirty Porn Stars… Today I intend to eat my Easter chocolate, drink Jones cream soda (if you’ve never had Jones cream soda- you MUST) and sit on the couch until my ass falls apart. Oh happy day.

I hope everyone had a wonderful Easter holiday.

Peace and sugar.

Tonight at work was shitty. I didn’t make the money I usually do- but it’s cool; good days and bad days, blah, blah, blah.

I’m off the next TWO (count ‘em!) days and I’m going to have some fun. Sunday night I will hopefully take it a little easy since Monday is St. Patty’s. Monday I intend to drink my body weight in Irish Car Bombs and hope that when the cab driver asks me where I live, I’ll be able to tell him.

I’ll be back to blogging madness Tuesday- pounding head permitting.

Peace and

MAN what an interesting last few days I’ve had…

Backstory: I had briefly dated someone a few weeks back, but stopped dating him because we don’t get along very well. That and he’s too intense for me. I work best with people who aren’t high-strung. Anyway- he and I didn’t work out. We moved on. Or so I thought.

Sunday night I’m at my fave little hangout with my best girlfriends and everything is going fabulously. I was flirting shamelessly with my crush, having a good time and then all hell broke loose. In walked the guy it didn’t work out with. And he had a very angry bee shoved right up his ass. Now I have NO idea what provoked him into the tantrum he ended up having- but I did learn that he’s completely crazy and in need of immediate mental attention.

Guy it didn’t work out with orders a beer, drinks it in under 30 seconds, then gets in my face and begins to yell incoherent things at me. All I managed to get from his tirade were something about me finding a “real man”, and “is this the way you want it to be”… All I kept thinking was: WTF is seriously taking place right now?? I hadn’t talked to the guy in weeks. Last time I saw him, he was out with another woman. Hence me thinking we’d BOTH moved on. So he keeps yelling at me, and when I’d finally had enough, I yelled back at him to get the fuck out of my face and go away. He did, but only after heading to the parking lot, where he proceeded to kick in my car window. I SO wish I were kidding. So then, I melt down and start freaking out.

I am very lucky to have kick-ass friends who care about me. The ones I was with jumped into action, took my car to a nearby gas station and vacuumed out my car. They managed to get every single piece of glass out. And because the window was shattered with such force- glass was EVERYWHERE. On top of them tending to me and my injured car, they pitched in and left money in my car to pay for a new window. How awesome is that? I couldn’t believe it. Tomorrow, my window gets fixed.

I haven’t heard from the asshole who broke my window since that night. I’m hoping I never do again. But if he gets near me or my property again, he’s going to jail. So hopefully he stays the hell away from me.

Other than the few minutes of crazy… Life has been fabulously fun. I’ve been hanging out a lot with wonderful people, have met new wonderful people and, for the first time in as long as I can remember… I have a crush again.

And that’s what I’ve been up to. Next up… work, work, a couple of art and web projects and more fun. Hopefully, no more crazy. I’ve had enough for one lifetime.

Peace and normal brain function.

So I waited on some asshole tonight who pissed me off to the point where I came THISCLOSE to hitting him in his face with his menu. As I took it from him, I lifted it right past his face and over his head- as I rolled my eyes in plain view of his friends. Why? You ask… Because he was a fucking douche.

Here’s my thing: As a patron in the restaurant where I work, I am your server. I am not, however, your BITCH. I choose to be a server. I have the schedule that I want and I make good money. I love working with the public; I’m good at it. If you’ve read my blog before, you know that I can be quite witty. (HA!) I am also very friendly and outgoing… in real life. I love meeting and interacting with new people. I want your experience with me to be fun and memorable. I was a bartender for MANY years- which I loved, but grew tired of… So now I’m a “server”. And while I still have the love for the job… my love for assholes has grown thin.

It’s par for the course to entertain an asshole or two; I’m used to that. But tonight’s douche pissed me off to the point where the Mexican/Apache Indian in me could not be held back. I was so pissed off by the way he spoke to me that I had to involve a manger in transferring him to another server. He (manager) ok’d it with a quickness because he’s seen me in rare form, and knew that it was the best thing to do- considering how pissed off I was. While I like to think of myself as an educated, public-friendly individual… I have been known to be quite violent when it comes to people who upset me enough. And I am proud to say that in 18 years in the restaurant/bar business, I’ve only physically injured one patron. (The rest were on my time.)

So the new server, Jenn, took over and Douche was just as rude to her. He even asked her if she was “nicer than the last one”. (Yeah- he meant ME.) And even went as far as to “inform” her that he could have both our jobs. Yeah…. He actually said that. As if it were true. It wasn’t. The only way he could pull that off is if he bought the company. Good luck asshole. It’s world-wide. And I rock at what I do.

That was my night. Completely kick-ass fabulous until I met Mr. King Douche Bag. Who is very lucky that I transferred him before I punched him in the throat and ended his love affair with oxygen. I hate to advocate violence- but being what I am made of… it’s in my genes. And I’ve NEVER been afraid to use it. But on another note…

I own my super cute car, carry one of several gorgeous Coach bags (I also have a killer Prada), wear designer clothes, have an iPhone, and and am capable of hacking you and your computer with just a few keystrokes….

I’m not beneith you because I am your server. I am probably smarter and better dressed than you, outside of my job. (If you’re an asshole.)

I will do everything I can to make your experience fabulous. I want you to be happy. I want you to come back. But if you disrespect me, I will not tolerate it. I’m no one’s bitch. Perhaps there are some 20 year old white girls who will put up with your shit, but this 34 year old Mexican will not.

I just hope I see him out somewhere… so that I can give him a new respect for the people who wait on him. He pissed me off that much.

P.S. If you’re a 20-something white girl… don’t hate-mail me. I’m just sayin’.

Peace and RESPECT YOUR SERVERS!

Edit: I just read this again and it made me cringe a little so I’d like to offer this piece of advice (and insight, interestingly enough): Don’t blog when you’re mad and full of beer. That is all.