My Random Blog

I would like to take a moment to thank my bloggy friends for your support in my time of emotional retardation. I would like to let y’all know that I am in much better shape today. Minus the hangover.

Thanks to a little one-on-one “conversation” with someone who’s naturally gifted at helping people in need (you know who you are)- I have managed to put everything in perspective and I’m ready for the next phase… whatever that may be.

I mentioned in a Twitter that I got pulled over last night, with one of my best girls in the car with me. We were headed over to Fave Watering Hole when lights went a-flashin’ behind me. Knowing my registration was waaaayyyyy overdue, I was worried that my car would be towed away. ‘Cause that’s what they do here when you’re as late as I am.

Mr. Officer comes to my window and tells me what I already know. I apologized and told him I was aware of the problem and would be fixing it A.S.A.P. He seemed pretty cool about the whole thing and then asked who my friend was. She told him and he went back to his car to look her up.

Turns out my passenger had let a couple of traffic incidents slide and had 2 warrants out on her. That’s when I peed myself. I started immediately imagining my car being towed away, my friend being taken to jail and me left sitting on the curb wondering why the fuck I didn’t stay home, and where I was going to get the $2,000 to get my car out of police impound. So while Mr. Officer was at his car doing whatever it is that cops do, her and I were holding hands, so tightly that I think we each broke a finger, and praying to the gods of irresponsibility that we’d somehow get out of this without handcuffs and a tow truck.

The gods of irresponsibility heard our prayers, because we both got off with tickets. Turns out Mr. Officer was a very nice guy and was in a very lenient mood. He was even joking around with us and being quite charming. So charming, in fact, that he gave me his card and I left him a thank you voice mail later on.

A girl at work asked me to go out with her tonight and have a beer. After I laughed hysterically, I declined. Not only does my hangover prevent me from wanting to be within 10 feet of an alcoholic beverage, I don’t think I should be driving with an expired registration any more than I absolutely have to. I DO have to get to work- but that’s it. I have 60 days to rectify the situation and I shall.

Peace and nice cops that like brunettes.

Turns out cute neighbor’s friend is married. I figured this out when I almost ran them over with my car as I was backing out of my garage. I apologized, once out of my garage, for almost running them over. She was super sweet. I now feel like an asshole for having thought her husband was cute.

My ex has completely and totally moved on. This makes me both happy for him and sad for me. He’s found the girl he will (I’ll bet you 50 bucks) marry, whereas I haven’t met a guy I would want to see past sunrise.

I am emotionally defeated. I miss D. so much that it physically hurts me. I cry more often than I’d like. I’m such a tough bitch- right? I am in such a weird fucking place right now. I want him to be happy- and I am happy for him- but I’m also so sad that I let him go. I’m crying as I write this.

Not so tough when it comes to my heart.

I gotta work soon, but wanted to throw a post up first. BFF gets cranky when she doesn’t have something to read.

Well I don’t think I’ll be hooking up with Scrubs again after all. I have recently discovered that a friend of mine likes him and, although she knows about us, I don’t think I want to continue to infringe on that. After all, I’m not going to “date” him or pursue a future with him, so I’m gonna bow out of that situation. Plus, it seems my options are wide open as of late.

I got a call from Stupid Cuteness the other night, late. I was asleep, so it was a missed call, but it’s good to know that he’s still around if I “need” him. I’m not sure how I feel about that, being that I really liked him and his flaky behavior frustrated me to death. Although I did enjoy our naked time, I still have a squishy spot for him and that’s dangerous for me. He’s proven to be the complete opposite of relationship material.

And I know that I swore off Vanilla Ice, but we talked for a while last night and I think he might deserve another shot. (I hate that he’s so cute.) We went through a kind of back-off phase after the Scrubs incident, but he’s been calling me more regularly lately. I think I might see him tonight after work, but I’m not sure yet. Hopefully BFF will be available after softball because I’d like to have a buffer.

Then there remains Future Doctor. We still text, exchange interesting photos and email each other every other day, but with him still out of state, I’m not exactly sitting around holding my breath and polishing my chastity belt.

Off to get ready for work now… And I think I’ll shave my legs again.

Peace and choices.

Today is my day off and I am not doing anything that requires going out in the 102 degree weather. That and, although I’m not really a superstitious person, bad things are less likely to happen to me if I’m in my living room. Thank you Jake Titus for giving me several reasons to stay indoors today. (If you haven’t read his post, please do… It’s hilarious.)

So far my laziness is off to a good start. I haven’t done anything other than scramble a couple of eggs and text with my Future Doctor. He’s someone I dated an eon ago, but our timing was always wrong. We got back in touch a few years ago thanks to the handiness of MySpace. However, with me being with D., and him being super busy- we still haven’t seen each other in over a decade. (Thank God for pictures.)

The last couple of months, Future Doctor and I have been in contact a lot more than usual. Phone calls, texts and emails have given us motivation to see each other again. He’s moving back to California soon, to finish up his education, so we’ve been making plans to get together. His family lives where I do, and he intends to move back here when he’s finished with school.

I must say I’m very excited to see him again. I’ve known him for so long and I just adore him as a person. He’s an incredibly sweet, down-to-earth guy. It also doesn’t hurt that he’s hot. (Gotta love perks.)

Anyway, I have no expectations other than being the friends we’ve always been, and picking up where we left off… so to speak. We may have sucked at timing, but we were excellent at other things. I am definitely looking forward to that.

Peace and hot doctors.

Savage Chickens Copyright © Doug Savage - All Rights Reserved

Another Friday, another hangover. Wee hoo.

Well, Vanilla knows about me and Scrubs. I knew he would. He started text messaging me the day before yesterday, asking me questions he already knew the answers to. I was irritated by that, but too ashamed to fight with him about it, so I was honest and apologetic. It’s not like I was going to have any kind of relationship with him or anything but I still feel bad about it. At first he seemed a little pissed off, but after talking about it for a bit, he understood that it wasn’t intentional, I was sorry, and by the end everything was kosher. Scrubs and I remain friends as well. Although we won’t be taking our clothes off in each other’s presence again.

I went out last night after work, met up with friends and had a fabulous time. There was even a little drama to make things interesting.

A girlfriend and I went into the bathroom, at the place we were at, to find 2 girls standing in there looking shell-shocked. One of them was holding her head with both hands and on the verge of tears. I just went in to wash my hands, so they started telling me all about how some crazy girl had followed them in there and started punching the girl in her head. I wasn’t sure why she did that, exactly, but it had something to do with a guy. Figures.

So I’m listening to the injured girl and being as supportive as I can be to a chick I’ve never met, but once my friend was done, I needed to get back to my beer. As I’m exiting the bathroom I see this long chunk of blond hair on the floor. So I pointed at it and said, “Oh my God! Is that your hair??” It was. Sort of. Upon closer inspection I saw some kind of clippy-looking thing attached to an end of it and realized it was a hair extension. Then I started laughing. I’m not sure why.

Back out on the patio with friends, enjoying my Widmer and the wonderful weather, the drama continued when the police showed up and Blond Girl’s friend started trying to “fight” the one who started it all. It was all very Beverly Hills 90210. Friends and I just sat there, watched and laughed. It was all over shortly after that.

At the end of the night I got a text from Vanilla asking if I wanted to “hang out”. I told him no. I have no intention of seeing him, or anyone else, naked for a while. This world is a little too small and it’s more trouble than it’s worth.

Peace and hair extensions.

Good Lord it seems that I can’t even nail down a Friend With Benies these days. Vanilla Ice is a done deal. I haven’t officially told him or anything, but I’m sure he’ll figure it out. If he hasn’t already… More on that in a minute.

It turns out that while V.I. is very, very cute, he’s not the best at naked Twister (something I can forgive when I’m drunk) and there are no signs of improvement on the horizon (something I can’t forgive when I’m sober). Another fabulous thing I’ve discovered about him is his enormous ego. Which baffles me considering his lack of, um, skills.

Note to cute guys everywhere: Being hot is not enough. While you’re fun to look at, you’re not that fun to play with. The End.

Enter Scrubs. I call him that b/c I always run into him when he gets off work and he’s always wearing them. I actually wondered, out loud, to him Tuesday night if he actually owned other clothing. He assured me he did. Good to know.

Anyway, bff and I ended up at Fave Watering Hole (Tues.) after a fabulously boring hour at another place. Scrubs came in, as he has before, and hung out with me and bff the rest of the night. I’ve known him a while now, casually. He’s always been very nice and cute, but I never considered him in “that” way because he always seemed a bit immature. Which he is, but after talking with him for longer than a few minutes, he gained some points.

After Fave Watering Hole closed, Scrubs and I adjourned to my place. How tacky that sounds. And after all was said and done, how tacky it now feels, as he is (I have learned) friends with Vanilla Ice. Oops. Hence my mentioning that V.I. may be clued in, already, that we’re not gonna be “seeing each other” anymore.

In any event I had a LOT of fun with Scrubs. So much fun, in fact, that I think he needs to sit Vanilla down and teach him everything he knows. He should actually teach a class.

I’m curious to see what happens next.

Peace and understanding neighbors.

Just got home from work and thought I’d throw a post up.

The guy who fixed my mirror is officially out of the picture. I’m almost sure that blogging about a guy guarantees his immediate disappearance from my life, but I’ll keep doing it anyway. Although he was cute, and handy, he had dirty hands. They were also very rough. If I’m gonna get scratched when you touch me, you’d better be a chick with nails- not a guy with callouses. He also had a “white pride” tattoo that bothered me, although he swore it didn’t mean what I thought it meant. Um, ok.

I went out Friday night with my bff and proceeded to replace my blood with beer and Tuaca. I did meet another cute guy though. We hung out that night until the wee hours, we were gonna “hook up”, but didn’t. Thankfully. I saw him again Monday night. Still cute, but I kept getting this flashback of Vanilla Ice every time I looked at him. Although he does not share the weird hair that Mr. Ice did, or the ridiculous clothing, his face is very similar- especially his smile. Anyway, a few other friends showed up at Fave Watering Hole and everything else just kind of runs together. Not sure if I’ll see him again or not. Probably not, since I just mentioned him.

Anyhoo… I think I’ll be hanging out with bff after work tomorrow night. I won’t be taking shots, however, as that has been leaving me with nasty, unspeakable hangovers. Not to mention little missing patches of brain where memories should be. Monday night I thought it was a swell idea to mix every liquor known to man, as long as it had Red Bull in it. I do not recommend that.

I’m off to wash my towels now, as I’ve finally used them all and don’t want to have to shake myself dry like my dogs do. Maybe I’ll meet someone cute again tomorrow night. If I stick to my no-shots rule, perhaps I’ll remember him. Then I’ll blog about him, then I’ll never see him again.

Peace and guys who remind you of has beens.