My Random Blog

Good God I’ve been active lately. Too active, almost. It’s a miracle I have clean clothes left and functioning kidneys. I am happy to report that I do. To both. But barely.

Being in a relationship with D. the last 5 1/2 years had made me kind of a homebody. We stayed in a lot more than we went out. Which was fine… all was comfy and routine. Then we broke up. And for some reason, that signaled to me the intense need to go out into the world as often as humanly possible. It helps that my bff is also single, and hates her roommates, so is therefore down to be out there with me every second we’re not at work.

What have I been doing? Having 5 1/2 years of single fun, in a much shorter time span: Cocktails, spending time with people who make me laugh, meeting new people and developing, and then retracting, various crushes.

The first crush, as you may remember, didn’t go well. He was absolutely fabulous when we weren’t dressed, but completely insane when we were. I have since changed my phone number and deleted my “social networking site” profile. Since doing those things, I have not heard from him- nor has my car suffered any more damage. My fingers remain crossed, and the police department on my speed dial.

The second crush I developed was, evidently, wrong from day one. He was a bartender (well, he still is) at one of my fave little watering holes. Having been a bartender for years, a lifetime ago, I should have known better. His cuteness got the better of me, however, and I didn’t listen to my better judgment. Alas, he turned out to be a total flake, and after a few weeks of being disappointed and frustrated, I grabbed my parachute and bailed. It all ended before it really even started, and now I’m both happy and sad that I didn’t get to see him naked. Oh well… You can’t see everyone naked, right?

So now there is a new person flying on my radar. At the risk of jinxing it by blogging about it, I’ll say that he’s very cute, and very nice and the crush is mutual. It’s all very high school right now. And I’m digging it for the time being. So far he doesn’t seem crazy or flaky- but they don’t wear signs now do they? At this point I’ll just be happy if he doesn’t break anything I paid thousands of dollars for.

Today I am off work and plan to do absolutely nothing. No restaurants, no bars, no beer or Dirty Porn Stars… Today I intend to eat my Easter chocolate, drink Jones cream soda (if you’ve never had Jones cream soda- you MUST) and sit on the couch until my ass falls apart. Oh happy day.

I hope everyone had a wonderful Easter holiday.

Peace and sugar.

So I waited on some asshole tonight who pissed me off to the point where I came THISCLOSE to hitting him in his face with his menu. As I took it from him, I lifted it right past his face and over his head- as I rolled my eyes in plain view of his friends. Why? You ask… Because he was a fucking douche.

Here’s my thing: As a patron in the restaurant where I work, I am your server. I am not, however, your BITCH. I choose to be a server. I have the schedule that I want and I make good money. I love working with the public; I’m good at it. If you’ve read my blog before, you know that I can be quite witty. (HA!) I am also very friendly and outgoing… in real life. I love meeting and interacting with new people. I want your experience with me to be fun and memorable. I was a bartender for MANY years- which I loved, but grew tired of… So now I’m a “server”. And while I still have the love for the job… my love for assholes has grown thin.

It’s par for the course to entertain an asshole or two; I’m used to that. But tonight’s douche pissed me off to the point where the Mexican/Apache Indian in me could not be held back. I was so pissed off by the way he spoke to me that I had to involve a manger in transferring him to another server. He (manager) ok’d it with a quickness because he’s seen me in rare form, and knew that it was the best thing to do- considering how pissed off I was. While I like to think of myself as an educated, public-friendly individual… I have been known to be quite violent when it comes to people who upset me enough. And I am proud to say that in 18 years in the restaurant/bar business, I’ve only physically injured one patron. (The rest were on my time.)

So the new server, Jenn, took over and Douche was just as rude to her. He even asked her if she was “nicer than the last one”. (Yeah- he meant ME.) And even went as far as to “inform” her that he could have both our jobs. Yeah…. He actually said that. As if it were true. It wasn’t. The only way he could pull that off is if he bought the company. Good luck asshole. It’s world-wide. And I rock at what I do.

That was my night. Completely kick-ass fabulous until I met Mr. King Douche Bag. Who is very lucky that I transferred him before I punched him in the throat and ended his love affair with oxygen. I hate to advocate violence- but being what I am made of… it’s in my genes. And I’ve NEVER been afraid to use it. But on another note…

I own my super cute car, carry one of several gorgeous Coach bags (I also have a killer Prada), wear designer clothes, have an iPhone, and and am capable of hacking you and your computer with just a few keystrokes….

I’m not beneith you because I am your server. I am probably smarter and better dressed than you, outside of my job. (If you’re an asshole.)

I will do everything I can to make your experience fabulous. I want you to be happy. I want you to come back. But if you disrespect me, I will not tolerate it. I’m no one’s bitch. Perhaps there are some 20 year old white girls who will put up with your shit, but this 34 year old Mexican will not.

I just hope I see him out somewhere… so that I can give him a new respect for the people who wait on him. He pissed me off that much.

P.S. If you’re a 20-something white girl… don’t hate-mail me. I’m just sayin’.

Peace and RESPECT YOUR SERVERS!

Edit: I just read this again and it made me cringe a little so I’d like to offer this piece of advice (and insight, interestingly enough): Don’t blog when you’re mad and full of beer. That is all.

Well, after MANY hours of trouble shooting, I discovered that I had a bazillion disk errors and corrupted files on my machine. How that happened, I have no idea. As far as I can tell, I wasn’t the victim of any viruses or the like. But there it was in my log file… A big fat mess.

Luckily, I was able to boot up in Safe Mode (as we know) and I ran a CHKDSK command, along with the “fix this shit” box checked. I restarted. Mind you, it took me several hours to even diagnose the issues, let alone figure out how to fix them.

EIGHT AND A HALF HOURS later- I let it run while I slept- my computer is back in action. And I am one happy ass camper.

I would like to thank my future husband, Steve Jobs, for creating the iPhone and therefore keeping me connected to every nerd forum online during this crisis. I’d also like to give a special shout-out to BleepingComputer.com for their invaluable information on the pieces of crap that are PCs. My next computer will be a Mac. I can promise you that. And while I’m doling out my gratitude… Thank you Marvin the Martian for sending my laptop happy, healthy Martian energy. It worked better than The Force.

Now I must shut down for a while and let my poor computer rest a while. It’s been through quite a battle. I’m, honestly, shocked that it works.

Peace and Martian energy.

• Don’t ever give perfume, that you can’t stand the smell of, to a very close friend. I thought I was getting rid of it. I didn’t. It came back today, all over my friend, and gave me one whopper of a headache.

• Don’t get drunk with friends who keep video cameras handy. A few girlfriends and I were out at a bar and I was getting out of the booth (correction: I was trying to get out of the booth) we were seated at. Once on my feet, I managed to fall straight back and onto the floor. Because a friend had a video-taking apparatus handy- that moment will live forever.

• If your hair is really long- people will touch it. My hair is now to my waist. It got played with all night at work. I thought only pregnant women had their personal space violated. I was wrong. My friend Stacy even goes as far as to brush it. In public. But I let her because I love her and, for some reason, it makes her happy to do that. I’m sure to the rest of the world, we look like groomer monkeys.

• The right thing to do is almost always the hardest. Along with this I also learned that love, alone, is not enough. And that sucks.

• Just when you think your puppy is done chewing up expensive things you own- she isn’t. This also applies to things that other people own. Puppy does not discriminate. When I’m done here, I’ll be Googling up some replacement items.

• My nose will ALWAYS itch when my hands are full. And I will have to cough, or sneeze, only when I’m trying to speak.

• I will never know what goes on when I’m sleeping that causes me to look like a cracked-out version of myself when I wake up. I’m pretty sure it’s not that I actually am smoking crack. But again, I’ll never know.

And those are the lessons I’ve gathered up for the week.

Peace and comfy shoes.