My Random Blog

What the hell is going on with the lips of celebrities? More importantly- where the hell are the FRIENDS of these women, to tell them how fucking ridiculous they look?

This started getting on my nerves with Lara Flynn Boyle. I’ve gotten used to the fact that someone needs to tie her down and shove carbs up her ass, but when I saw her on the show “Las Vegas” with those over-inflated lips, I couldn’t stand to watch anymore. I cannot stand to watch anything with her in it. She’s way too small to have lips that big stuck to her.

The next time I was offended by a pair of face eaters was when I tuned into Boston Legal and got a load of Delta Burke’s face. What the hell happened to it? It, literally, took me almost the entire episode to realize who she even was! Is there really no one in her life who likes her enough to stage a plastic surgery intervention? Has no one taken a lesson from Joan Rivers? I can totally understand not wanting to be wrinkly and old, but come on. When you start looking like an alien version of yourself- it’s time to get some help.

I never thought I’d see this madness on Courney Cox. I guess no one is immune to the brain warping of Hollywood. She has not only done damage to her otherwise beautiful face by going overboard with the fat lip craze, she now sounds like she’s drunk when she speaks. Her lips just kind of sit there while her jaw moves around.

Last but not least… The woman who made this whole post possible… Last night, while watching Ghost Whisperer, I was visually assaulted by the “lips” of the once beautiful Nikki Cox. It was so distracting, not to mention repulsive, that I could not even tell you what the story was even about. I just kept wondering over and over again, how the hell Jay Moher LOOKS at her every day and doesn’t either laugh or cry?

The whole practice is just insane. Tweaking your face until you look like a cartoon character just doesn’t make sense to me. And how sad it must be to have no one in your life that will be honest with you. I can guarantee that if I showed up somewhere with lips twice the size of my head, my girlfriends would not hesitate to tell me to knock that shit off, AFTER they picked themselves up off the floor from laughing.

Peace and the lips God gave you.

MAN what an interesting last few days I’ve had…

Backstory: I had briefly dated someone a few weeks back, but stopped dating him because we don’t get along very well. That and he’s too intense for me. I work best with people who aren’t high-strung. Anyway- he and I didn’t work out. We moved on. Or so I thought.

Sunday night I’m at my fave little hangout with my best girlfriends and everything is going fabulously. I was flirting shamelessly with my crush, having a good time and then all hell broke loose. In walked the guy it didn’t work out with. And he had a very angry bee shoved right up his ass. Now I have NO idea what provoked him into the tantrum he ended up having- but I did learn that he’s completely crazy and in need of immediate mental attention.

Guy it didn’t work out with orders a beer, drinks it in under 30 seconds, then gets in my face and begins to yell incoherent things at me. All I managed to get from his tirade were something about me finding a “real man”, and “is this the way you want it to be”… All I kept thinking was: WTF is seriously taking place right now?? I hadn’t talked to the guy in weeks. Last time I saw him, he was out with another woman. Hence me thinking we’d BOTH moved on. So he keeps yelling at me, and when I’d finally had enough, I yelled back at him to get the fuck out of my face and go away. He did, but only after heading to the parking lot, where he proceeded to kick in my car window. I SO wish I were kidding. So then, I melt down and start freaking out.

I am very lucky to have kick-ass friends who care about me. The ones I was with jumped into action, took my car to a nearby gas station and vacuumed out my car. They managed to get every single piece of glass out. And because the window was shattered with such force- glass was EVERYWHERE. On top of them tending to me and my injured car, they pitched in and left money in my car to pay for a new window. How awesome is that? I couldn’t believe it. Tomorrow, my window gets fixed.

I haven’t heard from the asshole who broke my window since that night. I’m hoping I never do again. But if he gets near me or my property again, he’s going to jail. So hopefully he stays the hell away from me.

Other than the few minutes of crazy… Life has been fabulously fun. I’ve been hanging out a lot with wonderful people, have met new wonderful people and, for the first time in as long as I can remember… I have a crush again.

And that’s what I’ve been up to. Next up… work, work, a couple of art and web projects and more fun. Hopefully, no more crazy. I’ve had enough for one lifetime.

Peace and normal brain function.