Are You Kidding Me?
I’ve never blogged about a comment before, but this one irritated me so much that I feel a need to address it. It was left in response to my post “The Date“. While I did respond to the comment with one of my own, I think I should set the record straight here and now. I would hate for anyone else to think I’m just another stupid woman in the world.
First, here’s the comment:
“During a particularly non-exciting part of Hancock, something started nagging at me… I just wasn’t feeling this. Not just the movie, but Hot Future Doctor. He’s attractive, he’s sweet, he’s funny, successful and he’s clearly driven. I’ve known him forever, I enjoy his company, we’re great friends and the sex has always been fantastic, but there’s something missing. For lack of a better word: Butterflies.”
Oh goodness….
i’m guessing that you will get the butterflies from someone who is a jerk, isn’t funny, has no job or works at 7-11 and has no drive or plan for his future….right?Bah, females are so ass backwards…
You have the good guy there for the taking but always long for the POS that will treat you like what they are….a POS.Se la vie…
Dm
Now let me make it perfectly clear that I am not “longing for” a Piece Of Shit. That’s fucking ridiculous and any woman who does that is a moron. Just because H.F.D. is an awesome guy doesn’t mean that I (or women in general) will automatically feel a connection with him. Chemistry is either there, or it isn’t. Period. And that in no way means that just because I’m not going to be with this good guy, that I’m going to be with an abusive asshole with no drive or plans for his future. There ARE other awesome guys in the world. I know this because I’ve loved a few… and someday I’ll love another one.
I think it’s sad that someone out there actually believes that just because a woman doesn’t snatch up any good guy she runs across, that she must be looking for an asshole to treat her like shit. That’s painfully ignorant. I know that there are women out there who DO pick assholes repeatedly, but I am not one of them. I value myself a hell of a lot more than that.
I’m sure you’re a nice person, “Dm”, but you are horribly misguided. I don’t know if you base your assumptions on someone who did you wrong, or other women in your life who have chosen bad men, but whatever is responsible for your belief system does not represent my entire gender. It sure as hell does not represent ME.
Peace and don’t be stupid.
Tags: assholes, dating, love, relationships
August 29th, 2008 at 10:45 am
I think you hit the nail on the head in your last paragraph — your “The Date” blog post hit close to home for “Dm.”
Since he doesn’t know you, it’s possible you are like the women he’s referring to. But then again, it’s just as possible, if not more so, that you aren’t like that. Based on this small sample size, there was no way for him to make a conclusion either way.
So, the fact he immediately assumed you WERE one of those women tells you what you need to know about him. He’s had some bad experiences. Heck, every so-called “nice guy” has bad experiences. I can sympathize with him. That said, you can’t become jaded and assume ALL women are like that. If you do, you’ll go crazy.
Sometimes, a girl just isn’t going to be into you. Whether you are nice or a jerk is inconsequential.
kev’s last blog post..Friday Four: Being Single Isn’t So Bad
August 29th, 2008 at 12:20 pm
She’s probably saying that there are so few good guys out there, that when you find one that’s halfway decent, you better grab him. Not so if you’re not feeling him….in a way that would be setteling and if you’re not at a point in your life where you feel you have to settle, why should you just because he’s a great guy. I had a great guy worship me but I wasn’t feeling him. I didn’t get the butterflies…he was good to me, but I was not right for him…I felt nothing, I could grow to love, I guess, but that’s not what I wanted. He’s not the one for you, then it’s your call to make. People overstep their boundaries.
Natural’s last blog post..Here’s To You?and Me
August 29th, 2008 at 12:21 pm
oh was it a he. a duh…i er been drankin’
Natural’s last blog post..Here’s To You?and Me
August 29th, 2008 at 12:22 pm
Grrr. I hate it when guys take that stance. And Kev (above) pretty much said everything I’d planned to say. You summed up your (and my and everyone’s) feelings perfectly.
Also? “Dm” doesn’t know how to spell “c’est la vie.”
JD at I Do Things’s last blog post..I Cut My Hair so you don’t have to
August 29th, 2008 at 12:22 pm
I saw that response and was blown away. I was hoping you were going to address it, you did and it was very well put. I would like to think that “DM” didn’t really mean for his response to come across as harsh as it did. Who knows maybe he was just having a bad day. Any who!!! The rest of us love you and think you are AWESOME and deserve only the very best. I’d be pissed if you settled for anything less.
Peace and guys having bad days need to step away from the PC :oP
August 29th, 2008 at 3:16 pm
Kev - I would LOVE to have “those” feelings for H.F.D., but I can’t force myself to feel things I don’t. (On the flip side, I’ve wished before that I didn’t love someone that I did.) I understand his point of view as well- I’m sure he, himself, is a very nice guy and maybe he has been in the position of H.F.D. I was just very angry about the generalization of women in that if we say no to a nice guy it’s because we’re waiting for a loser to ring our bells.
I had hopes for the guy I kissed for 5 hours, but in the end, he just wasn’t that into ME. And that’s ok. I’m not the one for him, but I’m the one for someone. Just like HFD isn’t the one for me- but he’s going to make someone else very happy someday.
Natural - You crack me up! What were you drinkin’ at noon? LMAO
JD - Yep, Kev summed it up nicely. I’m sure there are plenty of men who share Dm’s outlook, and that saddens me, but I know there are also lots of men who don’t feel that way- and that turns my frown upside down.
And your French is muy excellente! LOL
Lisa Lisa - I so rarely go through my comments lately , which is why I hadn’t seen it. I was pretty taken aback by it- that’s for sure. You’re probably right- he may have very well been having a bad day- or didn’t mean for his comment to come across the way it did. I’m over it. I’m just glad I decided to address it.
August 30th, 2008 at 2:21 pm
It’s also a bit of a stretch to just assume because a guy is going to be a doctor that women will fall at his feet, lol. Good grief. Sounds like Dm (not me,eventho I’m a DM) is a jilted boyfriend … let’s face it,sometimes it’s just not right between 2 people and it’s no one’s fault. It has to do with chemistry, not a resume.
DrowseyMonkey’s last blog post..The End of Summer
August 30th, 2008 at 2:40 pm
Well, I was waiting for the shit to hit the fan on that comment! I was a little put off at Dm’ s comment myself. Like was said above, he probably has or had a crush on a female friend, and she didn’t fall for him. Move on, buddy.
Tim’s last blog post..Mmmm’very tasty
August 31st, 2008 at 1:42 am
Drowsey - Amen to everything you said. Couldn’t have added anything better.
Tim - Yeah I was instantly irritated by that comment. That’s only happened one other time in my Fuck You Bakersfield post, but I figured my response via comment was enough on that one. This one made me want to explain that not all women pass up good guys just because they really want a jackass. lol
August 31st, 2008 at 3:38 pm
Well, as is typical (for me) I got here just a LITTLE too late, and everyone else pretty much summed up everything I was thinking to say. But I do agree. Just because a girl doesn’t instantly fall for a nice guy doesn’t mean she’d rather have a jerk. It just means that HE isn’t the RIGHT nice guy.
And yes - some girls do fall for jerks, and have no intention of getting out of that rut - but I chalk that up to either naivete, or just being plain old gluttons for punishment. (Actually, I think that a lot of times there are deeper roots to that issue, but that’s an entire blog post in and of itself.)
Suffice it to say, like everyone above, I would assume that Dm has been burned (probably recently) and found an outlet to vent. Sadly, it happened to be in a forum where nobody agrees with him…but that’s life I guess.
Angi’s last blog post..Empty Me
September 2nd, 2008 at 12:12 am
LOL - You’re never too late Angi! But yes, I’m staying away from that whole “why some women pick losers” topic. lol
September 2nd, 2008 at 11:51 pm
hm…nice reply… attacking yet adorable.
yeah, i agree with u.
dm, dont b stupid.
tc
irtiza
Irtiza’s last blog post..I Know What I Want
September 3rd, 2008 at 10:36 pm
Hi Irtiza - “attacking yet adorable”… LOL… Thanks.