The Date
I had an actual “date” with Hot Future Doctor last night. He picked me up about 9 (I had to get work out of the way first) and we headed out to get something to eat, since I was borderline starving. We did our usual, silly, sarcastic banter in the car on the way there- which was fun. That continued over dinner, between actual conversation about what we’ve been up to the last decade or so. It was nice hanging out with an old friend and having lots to talk about.
After dinner we decided to catch a movie, so we settled on “Hancock”, since I’d never seen it and Will Smith has rarely made a movie I didn’t like. Since H.F.D. took care of dinner, I took care of the movie and munchies. I don’t like it when a guy pays for everything we do. I also don’t accept drinks from guys without buying them one in return. That’s just how I roll.
Anyway- I wasn’t into the movie at all and was, in fact, getting really tired. (I still love Mr. Smith, but this won’t be a movie I’ll ever watch again.) H.F.D. said we could leave, but I wanted to stick it out. I was curious, after all, as to how the movie was going to end.
During a particularly non-exciting part of Hancock, something started nagging at me… I just wasn’t feeling this. Not just the movie, but Hot Future Doctor. He’s attractive, he’s sweet, he’s funny, successful and he’s clearly driven. I’ve known him forever, I enjoy his company, we’re great friends and the sex has always been fantastic, but there’s something missing. For lack of a better word: Butterflies.
I just don’t feel that spark with him. There were times throughout the date when I noticed something was “off”, but it wasn’t until the movie that I started analyzing it. I’m just not that into him. I wish I could force myself to feel differently, but that’s just not possible. I need the butterflies and I deserve them. H.F.D. is perfect for someone. Just not me. At the end of the date, he drove me home and I kissed him goodbye.
I’m a little disappointed, but I’m also optimistic. There IS someone out there who will fill me with butterflies. I look forward to meeting him.
Peace and knowing what you need.
P.S. I’ve changed my header for the last time. I swear.
Tags: butterflies, dating, Hancock
August 22nd, 2008 at 5:42 pm
Um… do you have an expected length of time you expect the butterflies to be hanging around? Cause no matter HOW amazing someone is, the butterflies eventually fly south. That’s just how it is. Just saying.
Jeff’s last blog post..Wordless Weekend - Niagara Falls
August 22nd, 2008 at 7:26 pm
Hi Jeff - Oh I know that. I’ve had enough long-term relationships in my lifetime to know exactly how it works. But it all begins with that spark. The chemistry, the excitement of the new person… The butterflies. Like you felt for your wife when you were first dating, and she felt for you… THAT.
I know that the “butterflies” don’t last forever- I am well versed in brain chemistry- but they are there in the beginning, and that’s what I’m looking for. That excitement about the other person. Which is not what I feel for H.F.D. And you can’t force that. It’s either there, or it isn’t.
August 22nd, 2008 at 7:33 pm
Hmmm. I’m a firm believer that if it’s the right person, the butterflies never have to go away. Sure, the initial “mysterious” attraction/butterflies aren’t there anymore, but…I’d like to date/marry someone who has the ability to give me butterflies the rest of my life. Annnnd I think that’s entirely possible
(Maybe I’m just ridiculously optimistic, but still…!)
Oh - and I like the new header. It’s fun when you change it. Mixes things up.
Angi’s last blog post..Annnnnd we?re back!
August 22nd, 2008 at 8:04 pm
Well you’re both right in that my wife still gives me a feeling after 19 years (last week!) but it’s different. It’s kind of like the butterflies fly away we we’re apart and then we feel empty. So I suppose you could say we get used to them until they’re not there anymore?
Jeff’s last blog post..Wordless Weekend - Niagara Falls
August 22nd, 2008 at 9:31 pm
Awwww Jeff- you are killing me with the warm fuzzies. I can only hope to someday find what you and your wife have found with each other.
August 23rd, 2008 at 7:23 am
When I saw the post title and the picture, I got excited. Bummer that it had a sad ending.
You had the butterflies the other night when you saw him for the first time (in a long time) didn’t you? And if I’m not mistaken didn’t you have some chemistry later that night?
Maybe it’s that you are so comfortable with him that you are already at a point where the butterflies are the different kind.
Susan’s last blog post..Photohunt: Wrinkled
August 23rd, 2008 at 8:20 am
Hi Susan - No, I didn’t have the butterflies when I saw him the other night. I was happy to see him and excited about it, but only because I hadn’t seen him in over a decade.
And yes, we had sexual chemistry- but we’ve always had that. It’s not the same as the butterflies though. Hard to explain, I guess. Lol
August 23rd, 2008 at 6:13 pm
Hmm, I was feeling very optimistic too when I saw the picture, the title and who it was about.
Of course, I know and understand the butterflies thing….that’s a beautiful and exciting thing…you should have at least that.
I think these are the only kind of butterflies I like….I love that excitement.
oh well, keep us posted
August 24th, 2008 at 12:45 pm
Oh, butterflies! So important. I envy your potential for butterflies. I’m not saying my butterfly days are over (Husband still gives ‘em to me!) but there’s something about meeting that special guy who does have that spark.
I know you’ll find him!
JD at I Do Things’s last blog post..I Did Things in Canada so you don’t have to
August 24th, 2008 at 6:04 pm
I like the new header. All this talk about butterflies is making me turn to mush. I mostly agree with Jeff’s first comment– butterflies come and go in very long relationships, but companionship and common interests (or vodka and drugs) get you through those times.
Florida Girl In Sydney’s last blog post..The Easy Way Out- My Love Life
August 24th, 2008 at 8:20 pm
Knowing what you don’t want is as important as knowing what you do. You’ll find someone … if that’s what you want
DrowseyMonkey’s last blog post..Blog Yumminess
August 24th, 2008 at 11:50 pm
I remember those butterflies. I had them a everytime when I picked my wife, then girlfriend from the airport for a nice weekend fun time
Don’t you go worrying your pretty little head off cos I’m sure the guy with the butterflies is just round the corner on the way to meet you
Nick Phillips’s last blog post..Friday Hunks …
August 25th, 2008 at 8:05 am
TOTALLY know what you mean… unfortunately, this happens to me WAY too often!
Katie’s last blog post..Me, Myself, and I?
August 25th, 2008 at 6:23 pm
Butterflies are free.
My spider-sense told me this would happen. I’m sorry it did. However, I’m glad you figured it out so quick.
August 26th, 2008 at 2:08 am
I love how you have a warning at the top of your blog that says you’re a bad girl and …”among other potentially offensive things.” LOL!
August 26th, 2008 at 12:50 pm
Damn! That’s just too bad…. for him that is :o) I’m glad you sensed that right away. Some people come together because they think that they are right for each other or need to be together for whatever reason or my favorite “Well maybe he/she will grow on me”. That special feeling/Love it’s there. With out that you can’t be too happy.
August 26th, 2008 at 10:19 pm
I’m with Angi and the butterflies. Get ‘em good, and they’re always there. Hot Dr sounds nice, but you do need that spark. I hate to say it, but keep looking, he’s out there somewhere!
JT’s last blog post..The beautiful, the funny, and the oh so tasty
August 27th, 2008 at 7:42 am
I don’t know if the butterflies happen immediately. Sometimes, it might take a bit to get them. Sometimes, you never will.
trouble’s last blog post..It doesn’t get any better than this
August 27th, 2008 at 5:51 pm
I think you need those butterflies, for sure. Remember, one butterfly flapping it’s wings in a really far away place starts a hurricane in some other location! Usually a location which always has big storms…
Seriously though, like was said above those butterflies never go away, they just land to rest for a while and then something happens and they flutter about again. I’ve been married over 12 years and if we are apart for a few days, bystanders can see sparks when we get back together.
Tim’s last blog post..By: The Ultimate Redneck Bar and Grill Beer Gift Basket
August 27th, 2008 at 11:21 pm
I know what you mean about the butterflies…but I think of some of the guys who did instill that feeling in me…and a lot of them were big jerks later down the road.
You never know…you might see him years from now and feel those butterflies then…or you might find someone else. It gives me a good idea for a future post on itmightbelove.com though
Thanks!
Chelle’s last blog post..Best of Stupid Fantasy Football Draft Picks
August 27th, 2008 at 11:22 pm
I forgot to say, I always did the sharing for paying too…and I love that picture!
Chelle’s last blog post..Best of Stupid Fantasy Football Draft Picks
August 28th, 2008 at 11:40 am
“During a particularly non-exciting part of Hancock, something started nagging at me… I just wasn’t feeling this. Not just the movie, but Hot Future Doctor. He’s attractive, he’s sweet, he’s funny, successful and he’s clearly driven. I’ve known him forever, I enjoy his company, we’re great friends and the sex has always been fantastic, but there’s something missing. For lack of a better word: Butterflies.”
Oh goodness….
i’m guessing that you will get the butterflies from someone who is a jerk, isn’t funny, has no job or works at 7-11 and has no drive or plan for his future….right?
Bah, females are so ass backwards…
You have the good guy there for the taking but always long for the POS that will treat you like what they are….a POS.
Se la vie…
Dm
August 29th, 2008 at 8:56 am
Uh no, Detman101… I have found plenty of butterflies in my life with guys who were awesome, who had jobs and didn’t treat me like shit. Just because H.F.D. is a great guy doesn’t mean he’s automatically the one for me. Chemistry isn’t found with everyone- no matter how fabulous they are. If you’ve had more than one relationship in your life, you should know that. But judging by your last paragraph, I’m not thinking you have. Perhaps someone dumped YOU for an asshole- but I’m not that person.
How sad that you assume that I must be looking for a piece of shit just because I’m not snatching this guy up. I don’t “long” for a piece of shit- that’s the dumbest fucking thing I’ve ever heard. I don’t tolerate assholes and there are plenty of men in the world who aren’t.