I’m So Lame
Last night was Sly’s first official night as the bartender at the place she won the competition. Naturally I had to go and show my support and love. She made up a fabulous shot called “Sex with Sly” that Holly and I consumed with wild abandon. I must say that sex with her is quite tasty and intoxicating. So good, in fact, that Sly had sex with herself.
New Crush (whom shall now be christened “Cutie Pants”) was also there. When I walked in, he seemed very happy to see me, which gave me a nasty case of the warm fuzzies. Actually, I had them the whole way there and pretty much the whole time I was there. (Hence the title of this post.) He was working a bit, but managed to make me feel like he was into me, which was nice.
Vanilla Ice was there with his new girlfriend, and he made a point to come over and say hi, since we’re “friends” now. Although, he does still attempt to “booty call” me a couple of times a week. I have actually made a ringtone for him, so that when he calls, my phone says, “It’s [Vanilla Ice], send his ass to voice mail.” Not kidding.
At the end of the night, some of us stayed after closing- Vanilla and girlfriend were long gone- then all decided to head over to Sly’s place. Shortly after we arrived, my phone started ringing… Vanilla had ditched the girlfriend and was calling to find out where I was. Sly started texting him from my phone and invited him over (they are good friends), so Cutie Pants and I left and went back the bar where my car was.
We sat in his truck for a while talking, then went right to the making out like teenagers again. A few minutes into our kissing marathon, my phone starts (loudly) saying, “It’s [Vanilla Ice], send his ass to voice mail.” Evidently, Vanilla had gotten to Sly’s and realized I wasn’t there anymore. After my phone went off about 3 times, Cutie Pants finally asked what that was. When I told him, he thought it was pretty damn funny. And a little ironic since he and Vanilla have the same first name. After several unsuccessful attempts to reach me, Vanilla finally gave up. Cutie Pants and I continued to make out until about 5 a.m. Again. I drove all the way home with thee most ridiculous grin on my face.
I think I’ll upload some photos from last night to Flickr now. Then I’m gonna rehydrate and enjoy a quiet night at home.
Peace and warm fucking fuzzies.
July 16th, 2008 at 8:56 pm
OMG, I just about lost it when you wrote that Sly had sex with herself. LMAO! That was some funny shit!
I want to see a pic of Cutie Pants. I am so heading over to Flickr! *evil grin*
Leigh’s last blog post..A Candid Look at George
July 16th, 2008 at 9:33 pm
RE: “It’s [Vanilla Ice], send his ass to voice mail.”
i love it!! i do the same thing to my ex…only i saved him as “DO NOT ANSWER” and his ringtone is “ur so gay”
J’s last blog post..The Sex List (This One’s for the Boys)
July 16th, 2008 at 9:36 pm
LOL @ sly having sex with herself… ahahaha…
And the fact that both guys have the same name … and the ring tone, OMG … too funny.
DrowseyMonkey’s last blog post..Doodle Vacation
July 16th, 2008 at 10:40 pm
Leigh - That shot was MIGHTY tasty. I have no idea what was in it, but I don’t care. I’ll be having Sex with Sly in the future.
J - That ringtone is quite popular! LOL… He’s really a nice guy- but I don’t much care for his dating practices. I’m not the kind of girl who fuck’s other girls’ boyfriends. There are just too many guys in this world. And your ringtone for your ex cracked me UP!
Drowsey - Yeah, it bothers me a little that they both have the same name, but a LOT of people actually call “Vanilla Ice” just that- he really does look like him, almost dead on. I don’t remember the last time I called him by his name. lol
July 16th, 2008 at 10:47 pm
That is just too funny! Now you make ME want to have sex with Sly! Like …. now. Dammit anyway.
Leigh’s last blog post..A Candid Look at George
July 17th, 2008 at 12:36 am
That was funny! And touching and sweet at the same time… boy, it’s a long time since I was in circulation! To think of all the fun I could have had if mobile phones had been invented!! S’not fair!!
Jay’s last blog post..Conversations with a husband: No. 7
July 17th, 2008 at 3:55 am
corrina, you’re killing me here. GREAT post and funny.
“I drove all the way home with thee most ridiculous grin on my face.”
LOL. Doesn’t that grin make you feel like you just had a triple dose of botox. A grin so wide, you can see your wisdom teeth. lol.
oh thanks for the laugh. one of us has to have a life. lol
hey find out what was in that drink.
Natural’s last blog post..Paper or Plastic?
July 17th, 2008 at 6:58 am
Wow, you were up until 5:00 am again?!?!?
Okay…so was I. Actually, I went to bed at 4:45. Is staying up really late during the week a growing epidemic or something?
kev’s last blog post..How to Open a Conversation With a Lady
July 17th, 2008 at 8:03 am
Vanilla Ice does not deserve a girlfriend. There, I said it.
But I am glad you have discovered a nice boy.
I told you guys insomnia was contagious, I was up until almost 3am! Are we all drinking the same water or something?
July 17th, 2008 at 1:39 pm
Dangit, girl - I am *still* LMAO about Sly having sex with herself.
You go, girl - get your love on!
MammaDawg’s last blog post..Mine’s Bigger Than Yours!
July 17th, 2008 at 2:05 pm
Leigh - I wish I knew what she put in that shot but she was being very sneaky about it. lol You should have one though!
Jay - I’ll have fun for the both of us!
Natural - Yes, the grin became almost painful once I made it into my garage. lol And I’ll try to figure out what was in it, but she’s not telling.
Kev - I’ve been working nights for so many years I don’t think it’s possible for me to not be up until at least 4. However, I’m always at least in my house by then. I felt a little silly coming home as my neighbor was leaving for work.
Angi - I actually told Vanilla that I don’t know why on Earth he has one, being that he’s a horrible boyfriend. He just laughed it off. Probably thought I was hitting on him or something. His ego is quite extensive. lol
MammaDawg - She actually had it twice!
July 17th, 2008 at 3:24 pm
Some guys are so…..uh, special. Yeah, that’s it, special.
Almost makes you wish it wouldn’t be kinda juvenile to call up his current girlfriend and be all, “Ummm do you know what kind of texts he sends ME while he’s dating YOU?”
July 17th, 2008 at 7:20 pm
Angi - I know, right? LOL. Unfortunately, I am very low-drama and I am loathe to start that kind of shit for anyone. It’s also unfortunate that she’s not very bright. Any fool can see what kind of guy he is just by hanging out with him for a brief amount of time. I, certainly, never considered a “relationship” with him. I know his type from a mile away. How sad that experience has given me that gift. LOL
Let’s you and I say a quick thank you to the Universe that WE are not his girlfriend.
July 17th, 2008 at 8:06 pm
I just love the names you give your crushers … LOL! Happy weekend.
Nick Phillips’s last blog post..The Six Million Dollar Man
July 17th, 2008 at 8:14 pm
So am I - low drama. And you’re right, if she doesn’t figure out his type after a max of about 10 minutes, maybe they deserve each other!
Yes. VERY glad WE are not his girlfriend(s). You and I can do soooo much better.
July 17th, 2008 at 8:56 pm
Man, I wanna have sex w/ Sly…
July 17th, 2008 at 10:18 pm
Nick Phillips - I am, honestly, running out of names for them! Hopefully I won’t have too many more. But somehow… I’m thinking I will. lol
Angi - You would honestly be shocked by how dumb that girl really is. I hate to say it, but she’s a “stereotypical” blonde. 100%.
Coop - I know you do, sweetie. LOL
July 18th, 2008 at 8:00 pm
Ha ha that was supposed to read a sex w/ Sly ;o)
July 19th, 2008 at 8:19 pm
LOL @ the I’m so lame! What’s so lame about the warm fuzzies, I mean hell, that’s something to enjoy the whole ride through! And what a cute little pic to show for your making out session, I mean really, a make-out till 5 AM? Shit I think that was like 5 years ago! Not that I’m complaining, he makes up for it in other ways now.
JT’s last blog post..Tickilisms
July 22nd, 2008 at 4:37 am
I love the ringtone you made for Vanilla Ice– that is freaking hilarious.
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