My Random Blog

I wish it were within my body but I’m not that lucky.

Seems my shitty laptop (if I had a Mac this wouldn’t be an issue) has contracted the “command.exe” virus. I’m glad that I’m familiar enough with my computer’s programs to have found it right away, but it’s still wreaking havok on my system while I try to get rid of it. Which is not easy.

Please send me good computer mojo in my time of virus-killing need. Thank you in advance.

Peace and crotch fleas to virus creators.

Today I decided to watch some HBO documentary programming via my cable’s “On Damand” option. First I watched some stupid Heidi Fleiss thing (what a train wreck) about her “Stud Farm” in Nevada. Sufficiently bored, I moved on to something called “Ganja Queen” about the imprisonment and trial, in Indonesia, of one Schapelle Corby.

I have never been so heart broken, for a complete stranger, in my life. And I cannot believe that her own government (Australia) has done nothing to get her out of that hell hole and back home with her family. It absolutely blows my fucking mind right out of my head.

If you don’t know who Schapelle is, you should. Someone put a ten-pound bag of marijuana in her unlocked boogie board bag without her knowledge. Upon arrival in Indonesia, it was discovered and then all hell broke loose. Her “trial” was a fucking JOKE and she was sentenced to 20 years in that shithole, 3 years of which she has served. If you go to her homepage and read about what exactly went down, you will be as shocked and angry as I am. Unless you don’t have a heart or any common sense, in which case you’re an Indonesian judge.

I don’t know why I’m writing this post. It feels futile as there is nothing I can do to get her out of prison. But I just couldn’t let it go, and felt a need to tell people about her that don’t know her story. I think everyone should know about her, because the scariest part of what happened to her is that this can happen to ANYONE. And while I cannot get her out of prison, I can write letters and send her care packages. And so can you. You can also join me in signing the petition for her freedom.

I’m not going to forget this woman and I hope no one else does either.

Peace and FREEDOM.

Well now that I’ve popped several blood vessels on my blog, I think I can chill out a bit over That Bitch Formerly Known As My Friend.

I went to work tonight expecting That Bitch to be there, but it was her night off. I’ll see her tomorrow, however. Everyone at work knows what’s going on and I was, honestly, surprised at how many people cannot stand her. I suppose they never expressed that to me before because her and I were friends. It was quite the interesting revelation. I almost feel sorry for her, being that all but one member of tonight’s staff wants to see her get injured. Then I remember that she brought all this shit on herself and any pity quickly dissolves. I knew she was a bitch, but I didn’t realize how shitty she had been to nearly everyone that works with us, at some point or another. Even people who remain her “friends” have been quick to comment about how fast she’s burning bridges these days.

She sent me a text this morning asking me “what the fuck” I was talking about and if I wanted our friendship to end then fine. I fired back with, and I am rewriting this verbatim:

You know exactly what I’m talking about you fucking worthless two faced bitch. I can’t wait to show you just how “all talk” I am. Next time you talk shit about me make god damn fucking sure it doesn’t get back to me.

My most mature moment in life? GOD no. But it made me feel better to spew it at her anyway. She never did respond.

Anyway… Last night, before posting angry, I went out and had some fun. I went to see Sly at her new job but Vanilla was there with his poor girlfriend and I had to go. I ended up meeting up with BFF and friends at Fave Watering Hole. It was all a nice distraction from That Bitch. But then I got home, started thinking about her again and managed to light myself on fire. I’ve reached a point now where I can flame up when I need to- and not when I don’t. I was actually in a stellar mood all night at work.

Ok, I’m tired and hungover and I desperately need to get some sleep.

Peace and knowing who your friends are.

Here’s the thing: I am FIERCELY loyal to my friends. I have been in physical fights for them, been there for them, nurtured them, bailed them out of jail, taken them out when they needed a good drunk, etc. I am a GREAT friend to have. I am the first to admit this because I have learned a LOT about friendship over the years and I’ve learned what it takes to be a great one. I’ve also learned what it takes to be a shitty one.

I have a shitty one in my midst. I’ve been friends with this chick for about 2 years now and we have several mutual friends. She happens to be a huge bitch. Normally, I don’t mind this quality- as “bitch” can take many forms- and most of them I’m ok with. However, talking shit like we’re in high school is not one of them. Anything you can’t say to ME should not be said. Especially to a third party. I adhere to this rule, therefore I expect that of my friends.

It has come to my attention that my (not cool) bitch friend has had a lot of shitty things to say about me, to another mutual friend. Normally, I would let this go as an immature friend that needs a good talking to. But I know this bitch, and she’s beyond “talking to”. I also know that the information I’ve been given is 100% accurate. (If I didn’t know that, this would not be an issue.) And I am pissed off. Finally. And I’ve called her out. Which means I’ve asked her to challenge me to my face. Normally I would call the “friend” and ask for an explanation, but since she thinks I’m “all talk”, I thought I’d allow her to prove that to me.

For the record: I do NOT advocate physical violence. I would much rather talk our shit out than fight. However, I have an EXCELLENT track record when it comes to beating a bitch down (I’ve only lost ONCE). I’ve been doing it since I was 14 years old and I have pretty much fucking MASTERED it. Just because I am pretty doesn’t mean I can’t kick your ass. Ask my mom. She hates that about me.

Peace and don’t make me hurt you. Unless you like that.

Vanilla Ice hit me up again tonight. (Shocking.) He appears to be, according to my call log, on an “Every Three Days Try Again with Corrina” schedule. I told him no, again, of course. But it got me to thinking…

Here is this hot guy, forever chasing me around. But he’s obviously not “thee” guy. And the ones I’ve hoped might be thee guy weren’t either. My luck has been less than stellar, to say the least.

I saw on Oprah, one day a while back, that writing what you are seeking in a mate will somehow put it out into the universe and eventually that person will find you.

In the interest of Oprah Science, I have decided to compose such a list.

I’m sure most people write out their lists privately and tuck it away somewhere, but I figure the Universe has a better shot of reading mine if I put it here.

So listen up, Universe, because here it comes.

The qualities I am seeking in my ideal (male) partner are (I specify “male” because I don’t know all the rules and if the Universe sent me a chick with all these qualities, that would just be cruel, being that I happen to be straight.):

1. Has a great sense of humor.
2. Is a great kisser.
3. Is attractive to me.
4. Loves life.
5. Doesn’t take himself too seriously.
6. Gets along well with others.
7. Will watch football and drink beer with me on game days.
8. Loves his mom.
9. Loves animals.
10. Believes in God.
11. Affectionate.
12. Smart.
13. Has a job.
14. Considerate.
15. Honest.
16. Not homophobic and/or racist.
17. Sexually compatible with me.
18. Can stay up late.

Those are no particular order, but all are important to me on different levels.

And there is my “wish” list for whomever I find, or whomever finds me. Until then, I’ll just keep on keepin’ on. And telling Vanilla no.

Peace and Universal Wishes.

Last night was Sly’s first official night as the bartender at the place she won the competition. Naturally I had to go and show my support and love. She made up a fabulous shot called “Sex with Sly” that Holly and I consumed with wild abandon. I must say that sex with her is quite tasty and intoxicating. So good, in fact, that Sly had sex with herself.

New Crush (whom shall now be christened “Cutie Pants”) was also there. When I walked in, he seemed very happy to see me, which gave me a nasty case of the warm fuzzies. Actually, I had them the whole way there and pretty much the whole time I was there. (Hence the title of this post.) He was working a bit, but managed to make me feel like he was into me, which was nice.

Vanilla Ice was there with his new girlfriend, and he made a point to come over and say hi, since we’re “friends” now. Although, he does still attempt to “booty call” me a couple of times a week. I have actually made a ringtone for him, so that when he calls, my phone says, “It’s [Vanilla Ice], send his ass to voice mail.” Not kidding.

At the end of the night, some of us stayed after closing- Vanilla and girlfriend were long gone- then all decided to head over to Sly’s place. Shortly after we arrived, my phone started ringing… Vanilla had ditched the girlfriend and was calling to find out where I was. Sly started texting him from my phone and invited him over (they are good friends), so Cutie Pants and I left and went back the bar where my car was.

We sat in his truck for a while talking, then went right to the making out like teenagers again. A few minutes into our kissing marathon, my phone starts (loudly) saying, “It’s [Vanilla Ice], send his ass to voice mail.” Evidently, Vanilla had gotten to Sly’s and realized I wasn’t there anymore. After my phone went off about 3 times, Cutie Pants finally asked what that was. When I told him, he thought it was pretty damn funny. And a little ironic since he and Vanilla have the same first name. After several unsuccessful attempts to reach me, Vanilla finally gave up. Cutie Pants and I continued to make out until about 5 a.m. Again. I drove all the way home with thee most ridiculous grin on my face.

I think I’ll upload some photos from last night to Flickr now. Then I’m gonna rehydrate and enjoy a quiet night at home.

Peace and warm fucking fuzzies.

It’s almost 3 a.m. and I’m not tired enough to sleep yet so here I am.

Last night I met up with BFF at her work and then we headed over to our usual spot, followed by Fave Watering Hole (which was ridiculously busy for a Sunday night). I had a beer, then developed a headache and decided to call it a night. So much for my big party plan.

On my way out of the Fave Watering Hole parking lot, I received a text from my friend Holly, who was at another place I hang out semi-frequently. I have a bit of a crush on a guy that works there and Holly is very aware of this- and sent the text to inform me that he was there. I haven’t seen him since I met him, a few weeks ago, but have become “MySpace” friends with him (stop rolling your eyes) and have exchanged a few lame-ass messages that way. Nothing to get excited over, but I can’t shake my crush, so I was very into the idea of being in the same room with him again. Headache be damned, I’m going to meet up with Holly.

New Crush was there looking very cute (and not working), and seemed very happy to see me. Luckily, I had several other friends there too, so I didn’t have to stand around trying to act like I wasn’t there just because he was. Not luckily, Holly was in full-on shot mode, so we began tossing back fruity red-colored things about every 2-5 minutes. Soon thereafter, my headache was a memory and I was sufficiently buzzing like a dizzy bee.

As the end of the night loomed, everyone decided to head to our friend, Gina’s house. Somehow New Crush and I ended up on her back patio, talking about his recent trip to another country and sipping red wine. Next thing I know… we’re makin’ out like teenagers. That went on until nearly 5 a.m. At some point we realized we’re adults with shit to do the next day, so we called it a night.

He has my number, we discussed going out, so we’ll see what happens. I think he may have called today but I didn’t answer, the caller didn’t leave a message and YouMail completely failed me with any information. I’m thinking YouMail is going to be kissing my ass goodbye very soon. Perhaps whomever it was will try again tomorrow.

I’m off to bed, finally. I gotta work tomorrow (later, technically) and then I think I’ll go see Sly at her new job. She won the competition and is the new bartender on Tuesdays. I very much enjoy having bartenders as friends.

Peace and kissing cute boys.