I’m Gettin’ Drunk Tonight
This being single thing is not as easy as I thought it would be. I am enjoying it- don’t get me wrong. However, I haven’t been going out as much lately, so my meeting of potential new crushes has slowed down quite a bit. Not a big deal, but I am still a woman with needs.
It’s kind of a shock to the system to go from booty on a regular basis to none at all. D. and I were good at all things naked. Some times were better than others, of course, but it was always available. That was one of my favorite things about being in a long term relationship: 24-7 booty availability. Even if you don’t utilize it, it’s there and you know it.
When my relationship ended, the sex went with it. And while there was Guy It Didn’t Work Out With and Stupid Cuteness, there hasn’t really been anything promising. And since I want to continue my lifelong avoidance of STD’s, and I would like to avoid turning my vagina into an amusement park, I’ve taken to hooking up with my ex when it’s convenient for us. Which has been surprisingly often.
The downside to me and D. continuing to horizontally mambo, is that we’re drunk most of the time (somewhere along the line we became each other’s “booty call”). Combine that with we still care about each other, and are very comfortable together and we finally ended up with carelessness in the birth control department. It was fun, it was fabulous and my neighbors hated me for it. And I was seriously worried that we’d have a permanent souvenir to show for it.
I wasn’t in panic mode just yet, but getting more worried by the day. Then I realized that my shiny new Super Phone actually had the date wrong. (I use the calendar religiously to keep my life in order.) I thought it was the 5th, when it was actually the 3rd. Not sure how that happened, but I fixed it.
Anyway- last night, at work, I felt the beginnings of the usual lower-stomach pains and have never been so happy to have them. Today everything is as it should be, and I plan to spend this fine Cinco de Mayo celebrating Mexican Independence AND Aunt Flo. Oh and I made a doctor’s appointment today to get my ass back on Depo-Provera.
Peace and condoms, condoms, condoms!
Tags: birth control, booty call, Depo
May 5th, 2008 at 6:51 pm
LOL!!!
that reminds me of a time back when I was in highschool. My dad told me “I don’t care what you do, or where you do it just as long as you don’t do it in my house and you use a rubber… I mean a condom!”
ahhh parental supervision
May 5th, 2008 at 7:20 pm
I should have titled this post TMI… LOL. And yeah- I think condoms should be available to everyone who’s sexually active. I’ll definitely be more careful in the future!
May 5th, 2008 at 8:26 pm
Dude! Back in the day, we used to call those “Happy cramps.” (As in hell, FUCKIN yeah, I’m not pregnant, because my uterus is wretching something FIERCE!)
PS: Happy Cinco-Dey-Mayo. I’m on my third margarita. (OMG. Cinco “DEY” mayo? The mexican in me just rolled over and died.)
I love drinking at home. No driving to do. And it’s cheaper. (although I could totally go for some Chevy’s tortillas right now!)
Fashion Paramedic’s last blog post..Cookie Lee Lawsuit, Part 1
May 5th, 2008 at 9:03 pm
It’s amazing, everyone complains about there aunt flo. But when she hasn’t visited for a while. . .they sure do miss her. And when she stays to long, everyone wants to throw her bags on the front porch.
jake titus’s last blog post..Such An Idiot!!!
May 5th, 2008 at 11:45 pm
LMAO! I have to agree with what Jake Titus commented. It sure hits the nail on the coffin
Nick Phillips’s last blog post..The Diet. Part II.
May 6th, 2008 at 8:36 am
You’re funny, doing the horizontal mambo with an ex. Many, many people do it, because they’re a known quantity, you know what you need, you’re comfortable with them. But it seems to me that it holds people back from finding Mr. / Mrs. Right somehow. Not sure why, really - I’ve never done that myself. But good for you - vigorous, happy, STD-free sex is a good thing in the short term.
How’s your head today?
Happy 5th!
Marvin the Martian’s last blog post..“Bet on the filly,” she said
May 6th, 2008 at 5:00 pm
Oh Fashion, I was SO happy to be in pain! LOL… I will not be chancing that again. Oh and I love when you drink and post! Happy Seenko-Dey-Mai-O to you too!
Jake - You are hilarious! Absolutely right, and hilarious!
Nick - I know, what can one really add to his comment? Ha ha ha!
Marvin - Yeah, I think I’m going to close that door. I’m pretty sure it’s not the best idea. Just so convenient. Damn it. lol
May 7th, 2008 at 12:16 pm
Yes, I have been helping a dear friend overcome her serial monogamy, encouraging her to make a space in her life and to regain her equilibrium of self, so that she can be ready to recognize and welcome Mr. Right WHEN he shows up (I stress the “when” because it WILL happen when she stops searching so hard for him). That means no ex-sex for her.
She’s finding it VERY difficult.
Marvin the Martian’s last blog post..Obnoxious fun
May 9th, 2008 at 7:23 am
Oh, this takes me back. I’ve experienced that scary feeling, too. Is there a more wonderful sensation than the return of Aunt Flo after a few nervous days?
I’m glad “things are as they should be” and you’re taking action to keep them that way.
BOOTY!
JD at I Do Things’s last blog post..I Flush so you don’t have to
May 9th, 2008 at 12:06 pm
Marvin - That’s very nice of you to help your friend. I’m pretty sure the door to my ex’s bedroom is now closed. “Pretty sure”. Hopefully. lol
JD - LOL! Yeah, Depo is in my immediate future, for sure. And not just b/c of the ex, but because condoms DO break sometimes and I can’t stand that stress. Ha