My Random Blog

As you can see, if you’ve been here before, I have changed my template. Again. I wanted a little more usable space and some top link buttons. I found the template online and tweaked the shit out of it. God bless Photoshop, y’all. The original template was nice, but didn’t look the way I wanted it to. Now it does.

Anyway- I’m still tweaking here and there, but for the most part, I’m happy with it. Hopefully I’ll remain happy with it because I keep forgetting how wretched fun it is to mess with code.

Brain hurts, it’s super late… I’m going to bed.

Peace and new, shiny templates.

Well, well, well. It seems that Ernie over at Redneck Bar & Grill has tagged me for a meme. Yee Haw! What is this meme I speak of, you ask? I gotta cough up 8 random things about me. Since there are a million random things about me- this will be tricky. I’ll try to pick just 8. I hope you enjoy the space between my ears.

And now… The Rules! Oooo!

1. Each player starts with 8 random facts/habits about themselves.

2. People who are tagged, write a blog post about their own 8 random things, and post these rules.

3. At the end of your post you need to tag 8 people and include their names.

4. Don’t forget to leave them a comment and tell them they’ve been tagged, and to read your blog.

Ok kids… On with my issues…

1.) When I’ve had a “certain” amount of alcohol (it could be 2 drinks, it could be 5) I will sneeze 6 times. Exactly 6. I don’t know why that is, but it amuses the hell out of my friends. Last night, just the smell of Tuaca set me off.

2.) When a customer at work is being horribly rude, and I put lemon in their water or tea, I will push it all the way to the bottom of their glass with my finger.

3.) I absolutely refuse to touch a pregnant woman’s belly. It’s like I think it’s contagious or something. I think the closest I’ve come is poking with one finger.

4.) I can watch the movie Rat Race over and over and over again and I will still laugh like it’s the first time I’ve ever seen it.

5.) I have a serious cell phone addiction. I have never owned a phone longer than a year, I’ve owned pretty much every make and model & I am almost constantly on the hunt for my next one. I’ve only had my iPhone (which I thought would cure me of this) for 4 months and I’ve already picked out my next cell phone. FYI: Nokia’s are consistently the best phones and Motorola’s suck.

6.) I currently have a pimple on the side of my face that’s threatening to take over my head.

7.) I will blow the fuck up before I pass gas in front of my significant other. In 5+ years with D, the only time he witnessed such an atrocity was when I was asleep. You’re welcome for that.

8.) Back when I was bartending, I’d take whatever was left in the bar mat, at the end of the night, (usually quite a nasty combination of various liquors) and put it in a shot glass. I would then sell the shot for $2. There was ALWAYS someone who would be drunk enough to buy- and drink- it.

And there ya have it, folks. Now I’m gonna tag other bloggers to share their randomness with the world too… As always, this is optional. So play along, or don’t and either is ok.

And the poor bastards lucky ones are (by blog):

The Junk Drawer

Brainfizzles

Peanut Butter and Pickles

Thinking Out Loud

Twisted Sister

Special Kind of Stupid

Anything Goes

Fashion Paramedic

Peace and nasty bar shots.

It’s late Saturday night/Sunday morning (California time) and I just got home from work.

Tonight was attack of the prom-bound teenagers. I don’t know how I keep forgetting the madness that prom season brings, but after tonight I’m guessing that I just black it out once it’s over. It’s like Mother’s Day and Valentine’s Day; pure chaos. I walked into madness and it didn’t end for hours. My aching feet, are very happy to be home.

Sunday (technically, “today”) is my Friday and I plan to party like it’s 1999. I’m a breaker, so my shift will be easy and short. I’m planning on grabbing bff after work and, instead of going to the usual place, heading out to new spots to see what we can see. I feel like I’ve been fishing in a small pond, and now it’s time to move into new- and bigger- waters.

Hope y’all had a good weekend. Me and my hangover will be back tomorrow. Woo Hoo!

Peace and better fishing.

I just saw Bear Grylls pick up a handful of elephant crap, squeeze, and drink the water that came from it. How can someone so delicious looking do such nasty, nasty things? I understand the premise of Man vs. Wild… But really? What are the odds that I am going to find myself stranded, alone, in Africa? Um, yeah… Never. Wtf would I go to Africa for anyway? Dirt? Flies? The chance to have wildlife injure me? No thanks.

American’s will watch anything that’s gross. To prove this theory, I give you: I Love New York and Flavor of Love. I rest my case.

Peace and I’d rather watch Bear eat shit than anything on VH-1.

This has been the worst case of Contacts Stupidity that I’ve ever had. After four days of misery and pain, my eyes are back to their old selves. If this hasn’t taught me a lesson, then nothing will. I’m guessing that the irritation lasted as long as it did because I wore my contacts for many hours the very next day after sleeping in them. Not my smartest move ever.

I’ve been confined to my house for 3 days and I am going stir crazy. I’m blaming this fact for my post yesterday about Ryan Reynolds’ abs. There really is no excuse for that other than I was suffering from cabin fever and lack of human contact. My apologies.

I have to be at work at 5:30 and I am frightened by the fact I am actually looking forward to it. I have also been counting down the hours until Sunday night, where I will be celebrating my recovered eyeballs and giving my kidneys something to cry about. Mostly I’m excited about being out in the world again without wanting to pull my eyes out and throw them. I’ll also be inviting a new firefighter friend out to join the festivities. I met him Sat. night and would like to see him again. Now that I can actually see anything.

Peace and healthy eyesight.

I don’t know how I missed this, but I finally saw the remake of The Amityville Horror last night. I wasn’t expecting it to be as good as the original, mostly because I’ve seen some of Ryan Reynolds’ other movies and he didn’t seem the “leading man in a horror movie” type. Anyway, I really liked it and wasn’t at all disappointed (like I am with 90% of remakes). But that is not what I liked best…

How have I not managed to see Ryan Reynolds without his shirt on?? First, I’m watching the movie with interest, then comes Mr. Sexy Pants without his shirt and I’m suddenly watching with a whole different interest. I couldn’t even focus on the matter at hand, after that. I just kept hoping he’d chop more wood and sweat (which, gratefully, he did).

Mr. Reynolds, you will never read this- or know who the hell I am- but I want to touch your abs. Please and thank you.

Peace and unexpected hotness.

One of the first things my doctor told me, when I got my contact lenses, was to not sleep in them. (I didn’t opt for the “day and night” ones.) He also said not to shower in them, and now I know why- but that’s a whole other act of stupidity.

Saturday night, after work, I met up with my bff for a beer. Turns out several of our other friends had the same idea, so one beer turned into two, three, four… You get the idea.

Once safely home, I fell into bed and was asleep before I could even have a thought. Unfortunately, my contacts were still in. Eight hours later, I woke up to a white haze covering my field of vision and little plastic discs firmly attached to my eyeballs. I could have sworn they were actually glued in. It took half a bottle of eye drops and a lot of poking myself in the eyes to get them out. Very unpleasant, to say the least, and the white haze lingered for a couple of hours.

I had to be at work by 5 and wasn’t sure how I was going to handle wearing my contacts again. Without them, I can’t see 2 feet past my face, so not wearing them was not an option. I had to drive to work, after all. And being that yesterday was Sunday- there was some definite partying to be done. I worked, I partied, I came home and took OUT my contacts.

Today my right eye has decided to rebel against my head. Any light brighter than my laptop monitor sends a shooting pain through my eye and into my brain. It has also been watering non-stop since I stupidly opened it this morning. I am a sexy beast today… Let me tell ya.

I’d like to think that this is a lesson learned, but I’m sure it isn’t, as I’ve done this before. Several times. Thankfully, all will be better tomorrow. Until then, however, I am stuck in the house and won’t be able to attend a friend’s BBQ tonight. (Insert sad, pouty, one-eyed face here.) Oh well… things could always be worse, right? Right. I think now I’ll look into the day and night contacts.

Peace and listen to your doctor.