I Should Be In Vegas
I like to say that if it weren’t for bad luck, I wouldn’t have any. Most nights at work I get the worst tables, I ALWAYS manage to drive behind the dumbest, slowest fucking people on EARTH, and if you’ve read my blog before- you know my luck with guys has been less than stellar, to say the least. Well not today, my friends. Not only was luck on my side, it was buying me drinks and trying to take me home.
So I’m on my way to work and I’m driving about 50 mph in a 35 mph zone. (I don’t usually do that, but today I was running a wee bit late.) As I’m jamming along, I notice that- about 3 feet ahead of me- is a motorcycle cop semi-hidden on a little side street. After I peed myself, I started to panic. There was nothing I could do but let off the gas and hope that my car would jerk down to the speed limit, instantly. It did not.
As I’m passing the cop, I’m looking right at him. And he was looking right at ME. He watched me pass him. After I’ve passed, I decide to hit my breaks, which I know is pointless, but what the hell? Then I looked into my rear-view, fully expecting to see him with lights flashing, right behind me. But what did I see? Him pulling over the guy who was driving right BEHIND me! I am crappin’ you negative!
I don’t know how, and I don’t know why… But somehow my horrible luck attacked the poor bastard behind me and I was able to continue on my way… shaking like a naked chicken.
From now on I will be driving 35 down that street.
Peace and lessons learned.
April 25th, 2008 at 12:40 am
OMG, I can’t believe there’s another person out there who ALWAYS gets stuck behind the slowest drivers on earth! They drive me CRAZY! Glad you didn’t get the ticket!
April 25th, 2008 at 3:31 am
Bummed for the guy behind you, but really happy for you. Close one, my dear!
Kathy’s last blog post..No Man is An Island, Except in the Bathroom
April 25th, 2008 at 6:48 am
Hey, thanks for stopping by my place, I’m glad you did! Now I have your fun blog to add to my reader!
I had a near miss with a cop the other day too. Just after I realized I had expired plates I was ON MY WAY TO THE DMV when he pulled up behind me on the road. I took a right at the very next street hoping he didn’t see my tabs. He didn’t, I won.
April 25th, 2008 at 9:21 am
No no no no no!!! You see, that’s what MY problem always was. I’d think, “Man, my luck is AWESOME today. I should get a lottery ticket!” But that’s all wrong!!
It took me 35 years to figure out that getting a lottery ticket AFTER being lucky, it was too late, because I’d already used up all my luck.
Meaning, if I was the one that DIDN’T get pulled over, then I was already lucky for the day. No more luck happenin’ with me. I just got out of a $500 ticket. No way is luck gonna keep on keepin’ on and give me five numbers plus the mega winner after getting me out of a ticket . . .
But, I have been called psychotic and delusional on occasion. And I haven’t had my morning Red Bull yet, so if that doesn’t make sense, then you’re probably right.
Fashion Paramedic’s last blog post..Conversations With Jake: Frugal Preschooler
April 25th, 2008 at 11:04 am
Lucky break!
LOL @ shaking like a naked chicken!
dawn’s last blog post..Friday’s Humor
April 25th, 2008 at 1:04 pm
that was so very lucky…. whew.
meleah rebeccah’s last blog post..Off The Cuff
April 25th, 2008 at 1:25 pm
Leigh - Oh yay! I’m not glad you get stuck behind them too, but I’m glad I’m not the only one! I swear it feels like I am.
Kathy - After I calmed down a bit, I too felt bad for the poor guy behind me. The car in front of me, me and THAT guy were all driving about the same speed- so how HE got nailed, I don’t know. I feel awful for him now.
Jeff - Hi there! Thanks for visiting. Kathy over at The Junk Drawer pointed me to your blog and I have already subscribed… SO funny.
Your little story about turning onto the nearest street to avoid that cop made me laugh too- I had expired tags once and did the same thing! Except I pulled into a 7-11 after having been sitting at a LIGHT with the cop behind me. How he didn’t notice I have no idea.
Fashion Paramedic - LOL!! That was a hot mess of funny that you left behind there. If your (decaffeinated) logic is correct, then it’s a good thing I WASN’T in Vegas. Ha!
Dawn - I have learned my lesson for sure!
Meleah Rebeccah - My bff said the SAME thing! I am grateful, really. Speeding tickets are SO expensive here!
April 25th, 2008 at 4:58 pm
cool. whatever works. sometimes people have to sacrifice themselves for the greater good. you good girl!
Natural’s last blog post..Blog: For Sale By Owner
April 26th, 2008 at 4:25 am
Wow! You may have bad luck, but it seems you also have transferrable luck. You were able to project your bad luck to the driver behind you.
You have a secret superhero power!
Try it out in other situations!
JD at I Do Things’s last blog post..I Bought a Door so you don’t have to
April 28th, 2008 at 9:16 am
Clearly the Force was with you, young Corrina. Proud of you, we are.
I love it - luck was buying you drinks and trying to take you home. LOL!
Marvin the Martian’s last blog post..A non-vacation