My Random Blog

For some reason, this month has produced the most scorching case of PMS I’ve had in years. (If you’re male, you might wanna stop reading this now.) It has turned me into the meanest person I know. Even though most of my friends already think I’m the meanest person they know… I like to think I’ve mellowed out a LOT. Because I have. But this last week… I’ve been a huge jerk.

Last night at work, a male co-worker and I got into an argument. He was in my way, when I was trying to get something done (he should have been doing his business somewhere else) and I wasn’t havin’ it. I was rude, he was rude, we verbally sparred and then he said something about slapping me. I don’t handle comments like that very well on a day when I’m NOT hormonally insane. But being hormonally insane caused my brain to do this little snapping thing and my vision to darken. I didn’t hit him, or scream, but I unleashed a verbal nastiness that was totally uncalled for. We ended up making up later, but still… he was just trying to piss me off and, knowing him like I do, I should not have reacted that way. (He wouldn’t hit a flea.)

Tonight, at work again, I got into another spat with another (female this time) co-worker. Something stupid happened, I had a silly reaction to it and she had a problem with my reaction and said something to that effect. I was instantly mad and ready to fight. So I called her on it and she said something to the effect that she was already in a bad mood and I wasn’t helping. So I said, “Well don’t take that shit out on ME. It’s not MY fault you’re in a bad mood.” and I left the area. I’m assuming this exchange upset her, but I wasn’t around to see or hear her response- if she had one.

The next time we crossed paths, she was smiling and trying to say something to me but I glared at her, told her not to speak to me and kept on walking past her. She avoided me a little bit after that but we crossed paths again, a few minutes later, and her eyes were watery and she looked like someone had just run over her puppy. So I grabbed her arm, turned her towards me and apologized. She started breaking down right there, so I hugged her and explained that it’s not her fault that I’m a jerk. And I FELT like a huge one.

Wtf? Does this condition worsen as we age? I thought it was supposed to get better. I don’t remember PMS making me this volatile in my 20’s. It’s kind of freaking me out a little bit. That little snapping thing? With the darkening vision thing? That’s usually reserved for when I am hysterically pissed off and about to unleash something painful. It is not my usual reaction to minor work conflicts.

So that’s today’s post: I’m a jerk. But hopefully, having written it out… I can get a better grip, and put things in perspective before I open my mouth. And maybe I’ll start taking Midol.

This entry was posted on Monday, January 7th, 2008 at 5:48 am and is filed under PMS, personal, work. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.